Dr. Lloyd called me this evening with some results from Lily's labs. So far we have gotten results for 10 out of the 15 tests being run and so far so good! Everything was within normal limits except that she is a little bit anemic. Not enough to feel it, but I am going to try to give her more iron rich foods in her diet. We are still waiting on the Vitamin D and parasite labs to come back. I am so grateful, though, that so far things look good. It is reassuring!
The past few nights, when Lily whimpers or stirs in her sleep, I have been moving her out of her crib (which is right next to the bed) and wrapping my arms around her and sleeping like that together. I have been putting her in her crib for safety because after she falls asleep, I get up again to do housework, and she does not know yet how to get off the bed by herself. Also, because of her past, I think that she is used to sleeping in her own space. If I try to cuddle her to sleep on my bed, she often times will lie still just for a while and then start playing and babbling. It is almost like it is too stimulating for her. If she is tired, I can rock her to sleep in the sling or in the Ergo. Anyway, she definitely can fall back asleep by herself, but I have been feeling like I am missing something. It feels weird (to me) to wake up in the middle of the night and have that rush of panic and the, "Where is the baby?!?" feeling because she isn't right next to me. Also, as I have said so many times - this girl is A.C.T.I.V.E. The only time I can cuddle and hold her more is when she is asleep or drifting off to sleep. I know that we need to work more on attachment. I want her to know my body, my heartbeat, my voice and the way my skin feels (and vice versa). We have 18 months to make up for (or longer if you count in utero, which I think we should). She has been doing well with falling back asleep instantaneously when I lie her next to me and curl her up there. I actually feel closer to her and more able to handle her energy during the day if we get this snuggle time together.
And something that has come up the last few days is that Lily will hit Aaron if she wants something that he has :-(. She will swipe at his head or his arm :-(. And my dear boy will say, "That's ok, Mama, I will move to the backseat so that Lily can't hit me." I am trying very hard to teach her NOT to do this. How to be gentle and soft, how to ask, "Please?" And also, having lots of conversations with Aaron that it isn't just that he isn't hurt (which of course I am glad he is not), but that we should not let Lily hit him, that we don't want her to learnt that this is all right because it isn't. Sigh. I know these things came up with my biological children, but for some reason with Lily it sets off more alarm in me. Maybe because I don't know how she was taught or if she was taught, the treatment she received from her caretakers and other children, etc. I will try not to overanalyze and focus on loving guidance and discipline!
Also, it might be too early to tell, but Dave may be getting his wish for a left handed child (don't ask why he has always wanted to have someone in his family be left handed). Lily seems to reach with her left hand many times, and also grabs crayons and pencils with her left hand. So we will see! Stay tuned.
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