Hello Friends and Family,
I know that you have been eagerly awaiting news about how our meeting and first day with Lily Claire have been. I am so sorry for the delay - but yesterday was truly a whirlwind of a day and also emotions running high, not to mention being busy with 4 (!) kids, so this is the soonest I could write and feel like I could tell you what is going on.
Before I go on, I want to say thank you for all of your prayers. The meeting with Lily went great, and she is handling the transition well. There are things that we need prayer for - but I will get into that later. Right now she is sleeping peacefully while I type this out.
We were supposed to meet Lily at the Civil Affairs Office at 10:30am. Our guide came to pick us up at 10 am in the lobby of the hotel. Another family was going with us in a bus. Amazingly (or actually not so - I am just amazed continually by God's provision and kindness), the other family are believers who are here for their second adoption from China! Their other daughter, Grace, is with them, and she is 4. They also have 2 grown children in their 20's. It was a relief to be able to talk to someone else on the same journey (and who have done it before). Judy and John are staying at the same hotel as us and will go with us to Guangzhou, too! Isn't that great?
We did not meet Lily at the Civil Affairs Office. She was being driven over from her foster home in Changde which is 2 hours away, and they got stuck in traffic. So it was very anticlimactic - we had to go back to the hotel and wait for her there. It was crazy being in the waiting room at the Civil Affairs Office - so many families waiting for their new children. Matthew said, "The suspense is killing me!" I agreed with him.
At about 12:30pm, Lily was brought up to our room by the orphanage staff that drove her over. They immediately handed her to me and said, "She is not scared of strangers." She was taking it all in - watching the boys who were jumping from bed to bed, and letting me hold her. When the orphanage staff left, we hung out a little. She was mellow, but was playing with the stacking cups we brought for her and sitting on my lap.
We discovered that she had lice and scabies :-(. Thankfully I brought treatment from the States as I had read on the boards that this could be the case. I gave her a bath, and we rubbed her down with prescription cream and washed her hair with lice shampoo and combed out the nits :-(. When we undressed her (she was wearing 3 layers), I could tell how skinny she is - skin and bones. And she had scars on her bottom from severe diaper rash that indicates neglect. Also, her head is very flat on the back, which makes me think she was left in her crib a lot. I have to tell you that as all of this was happening - I was getting very very angry. It brings tears in my eyes to type this out. These are not the circumstances that we thought she came from.
After I dressed her in new clothes, I felt better. We all played together on the beds. She even laughed a few times when she would knock over the cups and I would say, "Uh oh!" Her eyes are bright and lively. I can tell that she is very smart. I can also tell that she has all this love inside her that is just waiting to come out. Do you know that she has been with us nearly a day, and she had not cried one tear? Yes, that seems like an easier transition - but for all of you mamas, you know that this is not normal for an 18 month old. We are starting from square 1 with attachment. She has not left my side literally. When we went shopping in the afternoon for some baby things, I wore her in the sling. She fell asleep for about an hour in there, which was sweet. The hotel staff had brought in a crib, but Dave and the boys put the two twin mattresses in my room onto the floor, so that Lily, Aaron and I could all sleep together. Dave had the other 2 in our adjoining room. I don't want to think about her sleeping alone :-(. She did not even cry when it was bedtime - she let out a whimper or two, and then I rubbed her hair and face until she fell asleep.
Right now sweet Nathan is sleeping next to her. He says he is watching over her :-).
We are so happy that she is here with us, and that we can begin our lives now as a family of 6.
Please pray for our attachment and our family. Honestly, she does not feel like my child right now. I had read that this could be the case. That it can take long l-o-n-g time to feel like she is really and truly mine. I am not worried, but could definitely use prayers for this. Love is a choice - and I know that the feelings will grow and come. This is a very different experience from my births. She doesn't know my body, and when I hold her, she is stiff - however, that has gotten better even in the last day. Lily spontaneously hugged me at lunch yesterday. When I disappeared out of the room last night to get a snack, she whimpered and was looking for me. I immediately came back and took her with me. These are all positive things. She has even started saying, "Ma ma ma ma." I don't think she means me, but I am going to take it like it does :-).
The boys are doing fabulously. They are such lovebugs and are doing all kinds of antics to entertain their sister.
Please pray for Lily. She is tall - but thin as I mentioned. She cannot walk, or stand without support. She is probably developmentally around 9-12 months. She can crawl and get around by scooting. She has great fine motor control though. She can pick things up easily and plays with everything. She knows how to feed herself - she pushes the food way back past the cleft in her palate so that she can chew and swallow it. She has eaten voraciously. We have let her have anything she wants. French fries, cookies, rice crackers, chicken, corn - she needs more meat on her bones. She does not know any language (that I can tell so far). I had been wondering whether to speak Mandarin or English to her, but it seems like both are just as foreign to her. I am hoping that means that someone spoke Hunan dialect to her, instead of contemplating the possibility that no one really interacted with her. No matter, we will start from square one.
We will be beginning our day soon. We are off to the Civil Affairs office again for some appointments and an interview. I know that today could be harder. May we rest in our Father. Through all of this, I am just so thankful that my heavenly Father adopted ME. He had loved me with an everlasting love. So thankful!
Yikes this was a lot. Some of you wrote to me and told me not to worry about being long-winded. I am thankful to have all of you standing with us, and along with us for this journey.
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18
and one more that my in-laws shared with us - "I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore I have drawn you with lovingkindness." Jeremiah 31:3
Of course, I am attaching a couple of photos. The first is of our first meeting (sorry the quality is awful, we try to get better ones today), and the second one is of Lily all cleaned up. The third is of her crazy hair right after washing (she and I can bond over this).
Love,
Chenning
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