Hi Friends and Family,
Yesterday, we met Jian in the lobby to go do some local sightseeing in Changsha. She took us to Martyr's Park. It was really nice to be away from the hotel and the bustle of the city. It was (more) quiet there - and green! One thing I have noticed in the this city and in Tianjin is that there just really is not a lot of green. The cities are pretty much grey - with a haze of grey in the air as well. Martyr's Park is a memorial to those who have lost their lives for a cause, or their country, or fellow man. There was a monument (it's in one of my photos) that had a shrine inside and photos of some of the martyrs. The park is HUGE. There is a pond where you can go paddleboating (like the park we went to in Tianjin), and there are even county fair type rides in another section of the park. Throughout the park we could see many people (mainly seniors, but there were also younger people and some children) playing cards on picnic benches, singing karaoke (with the whole set up, mic, speaker and everything!), playing instruments, dancing, and doing tai chi. We got to walk around and also feed the koi fish that were in the pond. The kids loved that. Lily was not so interested in the fish, but kept trying to drop my lipbalm dangerously close to the water's edge. Lily likes to play these "dropping" games. We will give her an object, she will drop it, and then indicate she wants to have it back, and then drop it again and again and again while laughing. We humor her, and rejoice that this is very normal baby/toddler behavior, and remember that she probably has never had anyone to play this "game" with her.
After we got on the bus to leave the park, we headed to McDonald's and Pizza Hut for lunch take-out. Dave went to MacDonald's and John went to buy Pizza Hut for his family. Yes, our systems are in shock. So much fast food. But seriously, eating can be very stressful here. Between trying not to drink the water that the waitresses always pour for you, and making sure there is no ice in your soda (yes - soda! My kids are loving this, they never have soda in the states. It is the only thing that we know does not for sure is not made with water from China), and not eating the produce and dishes that have been sitting around for a while, and trying to figure out how to order stuff in Chinese, we have resorted to eating many of our meals at American chain fast food places. Can't wait to get home and eat a nice big salad! We headed to the hotel to eat and take a nap.
Lily sleeps a lot (compared to my other children). She sleeps about 12 hours at night without waking. In the afternoons, she has been sleeping 2-3 hours! I don't have the heart to wake her up in the morning or to wake her from her naps to do stuff. Dave says she has lots of growing to do. I don't go out either when she is sleeping. Dave took the boys to the nearby market in the afternoon to stock up on snacks and get some air. When Lily is sleeping, sometimes she has trouble breathing and will breathe few breaths from her nose, and then have a sudden intake with her mouth. She sleeps through this, but kind of jerks a little when she has to breathe with her mouth. Goodness, I cannot imagine sleeping through that. I cannot wait to have her seen by the cleft team at Stanford. We feel like she has to put so much energy into eating, drinking, and breathing sometimes that this could be another reason she is so thin.
For those who don't know, children with bilateral cleft palate, have 2 clefts in the roof of their mouth. It extends all the way from her gumline to where her soft palate begins. If you put your finger in your mouth and touch the roof, you can feel how far back it is where the soft palate starts. Her palate did not fuse together during the early part of her mother's pregnancy, which resulted in the cleft palate and lip (although she has had surgery for the lip already). Boy, can my girl eat. Can you imagine eating with two openings in the roof of your mouth? Those openings connect to the nasal cavity. She knows just how to push the food far enough back to avoid the clefts. When Lily "talks," it is very nasal - as she her nasal cavity is totally open to her mouth. Dave says that for now the plus side is - no boogers! They just drain directly into the mouth. Ha ha.
We had a sad moment yesterday when Nathan was playing with Lily and looking at her face. He asked what those bumps were on her upper lip? He also noticed that her nostrils are caved in a lot smaller than they should be. I explained that the bumps were the scars from the surgery that put her lip into one piece. He asked, "But are they always going to be there?" Dave and I nodded, and he started to cry :-(. Sweetheart. Dave hugged him and reminded him that the Lord does not care what we look like. We are beautiful in His eyes.
For dinner, we just met John and Judy's family downstairs at the hotel restaurant. It is called Food Street, and it has Chinese dishes from all over China. It is pretty cool because they have examples of each dish on the counter, so you can just point at it and swipe your card. Even though this is a 5 star hotel in the capital of the province of Hunan, that caters to adoptive families - most people do not speak English well. It can be hard to makes your needs known - even for me, and I thought that I could communicate all right in Chinese. We had some dumplings and char siu bao, and fried rice and some stir fried baby bok choy. Lily is eating so much, and I love to feed her and give her whatever she wants. She loves to eat the insided of dumplings, and any kind of bread.
Lastly, one last adventure (for me) to share with you all. I, a mother who has breastfed my first three children exclusively and for literally years, have been preparing bottles of formula! It is not nearly as fun as breastfeeding. I think I finally have it figured out now. We had to make the hole in the silicone nipple bigger so that the liquid could more or less pour out. I have the formula in a drop-in (a bag that goes in the bottle), and while Lily is drinking, I actually squeeze the bag gently. Babies with cleft palate cannot make a vacuum with their mouths when they suck. So while I squeeze, I can help her get the formula. Imagine drinking water with a straw that has a hole in it - I think we have all had this experience. Yes, you can still get your drink, but boy do you have to work hard for it. That is what it is like for Lily to drink from a bottle. It makes me feel a little sad too because I know for most babies - sucking is such a soothing thing. Nursing is so soothing and comforting. I think that for Lily, it is work - and not nearly so pleasurable. I always hold her to give her a bottle, but we always have to stop a few times to let her catch up and get a breath. Hopefully things will get better as I get the hang of this. And of course, after she has her palate surgery!
After bath time, we watched the last part of UP that was on tv. Then off to bed!
Our photos:
First is showing how delicately and lady like Lily is when she eats
Second is showing Lily and Nathan taking a bath together.
Last is a picture of us and John and Judy's family at Martyr's Park
Prayer requests -
1) Continue praying for our family bonding. Lily is growing in attachment :-). There was a moment yesterday when I was out of her view to go to the bathroom, and she looked for me and said, "Ma ma!" Dave said that he could tell she definitely meant me! Yay! However, when we were at the park, and Judy was getting crackers out for her daughter, our Lily reached her hand out to her to get one, too. Judy (smart mama who has done this before) gave the cracker to me, so that I could give it to Lily.
2) Pray for Dave and I as we think about the next steps for Lily when we get home. We have already contacted the doctor at Stanford for an appointment. We really want to get her seen as soon as possible.
3) This is a continuation of #2 - pray for me. I worry about Lily. There is just so much we don't know about her medical history. Sometimes I worry that there will be something else wrong. When I look at her flat head, I worry that we have missed the window for a helmet or some other therapy to help that. It makes me feel sad that she may have missed so many things that could have benefited her had we been able to come and get her sooner. But praise the Lord - you can never miss the window for being loved.
4) We go to Guangzhou tomorrow to finalize more details of the adoption process. Please pray for our safety on the flight and in province.
My girl just woke up! Gotta go. Sorry for the dissertation!
Love,
Chenning
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