It's Been A Month!

Lily at Matthew and Nathan's martial arts class. I think my girl is ready for karate! She keeps wanting to go on the mat when we are supposed to be sitting quietly on the sidelines.


Yes, it has been a month since we first met Lily! In some ways, it has gone by so fast. . .in other ways it feels like we have had her forever. She has been growing in leaps and bounds, but there is still so much that we are learning about her, her personality, her likes and dislikes, every passing day! We all feel blessed and thankful that she is here with us now.

My brother-in-law, John and his family came to visit us over the weekend. It was their first time meeting Lily. My nephews, Jayden and Evan came, too, and readily accepted "Baby Lily." Jayden even drew this picture for Aaron to have. It is a picture of our family. The two taller stick figures are Dave and me. The shorter stick figures are Matthew, Nathan, and Aaron. The tiny little doodle next to me is Lily. Beautiful, no? I love it!


So we had a crew of boys here. Lots of fun!



Aarbear just loves it when Jay Jay comes to visit. They wake up and play right away, and continue until it is time for bed. We miss their whole family a lot.

In other news, Lily had her first craniosacral therapy appointment on Thursday. I am not totally dubious - but a little. It was very interesting. The CST was very gentle, and basically let Lily sit on my lap or followed her around the room while she played, and did the therapy that way. Lily was active and happy during the appointment. We shall see what we shall see. Don't worry - I will post before and after photos. You all can help me be the judge as to whether it works or not :-).

Our Weekend

The kids played in the yard at our house. They built forts out of the rock pile back there.


There are some rocks back there that are brick red in color and porous. I was telling the kids that they look like pumice stone. Then Aaron used the stone and smashed another rock with it. He said, "Wow, this hummus is really strong." I didn't have the heart or inclination to tell him it is pumice and not hummus :-). Some things are just too cute to correct.



At Sunday school, Matthew got to pick from the prize bin. Silly bands galore, which he promptly regifted to his baby brother.


And - Lilikins is learning how to play with toys!!! Banging on a xylophone. . .


Pretending to cook. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but role playing and pretending are developmental milestones :-). Do you like her boho outfit? I love it! It is a hand me down from a dear friend.


And on Saturday, Lily got to go swimming for the first time! We met some friends for a potluck picnic at the Stanford recreation center. She loved it! They have a 1 foot deep baby pool there. And holding onto Dada's hands - Lily enjoyed herself immensely.


One more cute Aaron story. On Saturday we also tried a new restaurant nearby. In that same plaza is Beard Papa's! They have the best best creampuffs there. Aaron got his to go, so when we got home he dug in. Yummy. The cutest thing is that he calls it his "papa" not a creampuff, as in, "Can I eat my papa now?" I know the remains look like a wadded up piece of paper towel - but the cream puffs are really really yummy!

So Far So Good

Sippin' between smooches.





Dr. Lloyd called me this evening with some results from Lily's labs. So far we have gotten results for 10 out of the 15 tests being run and so far so good! Everything was within normal limits except that she is a little bit anemic. Not enough to feel it, but I am going to try to give her more iron rich foods in her diet. We are still waiting on the Vitamin D and parasite labs to come back. I am so grateful, though, that so far things look good. It is reassuring!

The past few nights, when Lily whimpers or stirs in her sleep, I have been moving her out of her crib (which is right next to the bed) and wrapping my arms around her and sleeping like that together. I have been putting her in her crib for safety because after she falls asleep, I get up again to do housework, and she does not know yet how to get off the bed by herself. Also, because of her past, I think that she is used to sleeping in her own space. If I try to cuddle her to sleep on my bed, she often times will lie still just for a while and then start playing and babbling. It is almost like it is too stimulating for her. If she is tired, I can rock her to sleep in the sling or in the Ergo. Anyway, she definitely can fall back asleep by herself, but I have been feeling like I am missing something. It feels weird (to me) to wake up in the middle of the night and have that rush of panic and the, "Where is the baby?!?" feeling because she isn't right next to me. Also, as I have said so many times - this girl is A.C.T.I.V.E. The only time I can cuddle and hold her more is when she is asleep or drifting off to sleep. I know that we need to work more on attachment. I want her to know my body, my heartbeat, my voice and the way my skin feels (and vice versa). We have 18 months to make up for (or longer if you count in utero, which I think we should). She has been doing well with falling back asleep instantaneously when I lie her next to me and curl her up there. I actually feel closer to her and more able to handle her energy during the day if we get this snuggle time together.

And something that has come up the last few days is that Lily will hit Aaron if she wants something that he has :-(. She will swipe at his head or his arm :-(. And my dear boy will say, "That's ok, Mama, I will move to the backseat so that Lily can't hit me." I am trying very hard to teach her NOT to do this. How to be gentle and soft, how to ask, "Please?" And also, having lots of conversations with Aaron that it isn't just that he isn't hurt (which of course I am glad he is not), but that we should not let Lily hit him, that we don't want her to learnt that this is all right because it isn't. Sigh. I know these things came up with my biological children, but for some reason with Lily it sets off more alarm in me. Maybe because I don't know how she was taught or if she was taught, the treatment she received from her caretakers and other children, etc. I will try not to overanalyze and focus on loving guidance and discipline!

Also, it might be too early to tell, but Dave may be getting his wish for a left handed child (don't ask why he has always wanted to have someone in his family be left handed). Lily seems to reach with her left hand many times, and also grabs crayons and pencils with her left hand. So we will see! Stay tuned.

She is Growing!!!

Remember Lily's high fat diet. Yes, it is working, praise the LORD!
Today we had a follow up appointment with Dr. Lloyd, Lily's pediatrician. She now weighs 20 pounds 9 ounces!!! That's 1 pound and 3 ounces up from last week. And 2 pounds up from when she was weighed in Guangzhou at the medical examination!!!

Grow, grow, grow, little one! She definitely looks like she is filling out a bit. She has more meat on her bones!

And poor lamb, we had to do her blood draw today and urinalysis and stool sample. I actually brought a stool sample from home this morning :-). But I had to alloquat it into 4 different vials in the bathroom while restraining my wiggle worm in the Ergo and trying to balance the vials on the lip of the sink while not touching any poop. Goodness, who knew this would be in the job description for mom?

Lily cried and cried when she was having her blood drawn. They had to get two phlebotomists to come - one to help hold her arm still (I was holding her on my lap) and the other to do the bloodwork. Thank the Lord for butterfly needles and they got the blood vessel on the first poke!

And since she cannot pee on command, we put something called a U-bag on her. It was very interesting. Basically it is like a shaped sandwich baggie that is sterile and has adhesive on the opening. You just wipe down the baby and stick it on that area. You can see it hanging out of her diaper in the photo below. Basically, when the baby pees, you will see it in the bag. Well, have you ever heard the saying a watched U bag never fills? That is what it felt like. I kept waiting for her to pee. She did not pee during the doctor's exam, or the blood draw, or when I was separating stool samples. In fact, I had to put a new bag on her (Dr. Lloyd said that if you wait too long, the bag will get contaminated and it won't be a clean catch). Finally, finally, she peed when we went outside to hang out and eat something from the kiosk cafe outside. I think that her cortisol levels were too high during the exam and the blood draw, and that is why she could not pee. Too much stress and fear. Afterwards when we were outside and hanging out and getting a snack, she could relax and pee :-).



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And just to keep it real. Some photos from around my house :-(. It is a mess! And I feel overwhelmed. There is no way I can do much housework at all when Lily is awake. And after all the kids are asleep - I have been rushing out to do about 45 minutes of housework before apologizing to Dave that I need to go to bed. I have been missing our late night conversations and movie time. I am just too exhausted and trying to catch up on sleep and conserve energy.

The cleaners are coming tomorrow. Yahoo! But that means I have to clean before they come :-(.

Brotherly Love

It has touched my heart how easily and completely the boys have accepted Lily bug.
They all think she is just the cutest thing. They have a rotation for who gets to sit next to her at mealtimes.


And *this* sweet one who I was so worried about. . .



The other day Lily was napping in the boys' room. I had closed the door and told them not to go in because they might wake her. Later on, I walk by to check on her and I see this outside the door. I thought that someone was cleaning up and just put those there so that once Lily was awake we could put them in the room to put away. But no. Aaron explained to me later, "Mama, I put these toys here for Lily for when she wakes up because these are her most favorite toys." Love.



And here are Nathan, Aaron and Lily over the weekend.


Goodness I love those boys. I don't have a picture of Matthew, but he has also been lovin' on Lil. Carrying her around, walking around with her and holding her hand. Just beautiful.

I am thankful. Thankful because they love her and think she is beautiful. I worry sometimes about Lily and her self-image as she gets older because of her cleft lip and palate. Scars fade but they do not go away. I was encouraged to think that when she is a young lady - her brothers will be young men. And how great will it be for her that all the men in her life think she is beautiful?

I Am Fattening Her Up (Trying To)

Lily's high fat breakfast:


Baked oatmeal topped with. . .


Half and half (I use this on her cold cereal and in her scrambled eggs too)


And full fat Greek yogurt with raw honey.

She will be weighed on Thursday. Let's see if this works.

Life with Lily Update

Dear Friends and Family,

I don't think I have time to post photos, but I wanted to share some great news!
As of Sunday - Lily Claire is WALKING independently! And standing independently!
She can even walk a ways, then squat down to pick something up, stand back up, and turn around and walk the other direction!!!

Remember, that when we first met her 21 days ago - she could not walk or stand by herself!
Just had to share the great news!
I do have a little video of her doing it, which if I can figure out how to attach, I will send. Woohoo - figured it out!

Lily had her hearing tested today. It is not the most reliable test as you can only measure what she responds to. Basically, we sat in a sound proof room, and then sounds would come on from different directional speakers. If you look over to where the sound was coming from, you would see a toy move or light up (these were mounted on the wall and in different corners of the room). Lily reacted to some of the sounds, but not all. This is probably because of a few reasons.

1) The audiologist told me that her hearing could be just fine - but if she comes from a past where sounds were meaningless to her, she would not react to them. She told me that listening is a learned behavior. You know, things like making eye contact when someone is speaking to you, turning towards a voice because you are curious or think they are addressing you. These are learned behaviors. If she did not have a lot of interaction in her past (which we suspect) - this whole "I am talking to YOU" thing is very new to her.
2) In order to keep her still, there were some toys there to play with on my lap. Well, my girl was wayyy interested in the toys. No, let me rephrase that. Remember she doesn't really know what toys are. So basically she was going through them at lightning speed. Dropping them and saying, "Uh-oh, uh-oh." The audiologist said that she could have been so busy with them, that she would not bother to turn her head to the sounds that she was putting on over the speakers even though she could hear them.
3) This is the medical part. Lily has fluid in her ears, we suspect. This is pretty normal for cleft babies as their whole ENT system is open. Dr. Tribble did a test to see if her ear drums would move when the air pressure went up on the outside of her ear (they have an instrument to do this that is painless). On a normal ear, the eardrum moves to accommodate the extra pressure. For Lily, there was no movement. This is most likely because she has fluid build up in her ears. Therefore there would be decreased hearing as things sound muffled (like I am talking to you from underwater). Dr. Tribble said that the ENT doc will do a thorough check. Fun, fun, fun. I am dreading it already. Lily was none too happy (crying) to have the doctor today look in her ears with an otoscope. I can only imagine how much she will love the ENT.

The good news is that Lily really seems to hear quite fine at home. She is starting to respond more and more to our voices. She tries to imitate our sounds as much as she can. She babbles a LOT.
And the doctor did say that once her palate is closed and possibly tubes are put in her ears, the fluid should diminish a LOT. I am also attaching an iPhone pic from the waiting room at the audiologist today.

She has learned more signs - her full list now is:
Light
Moon
Drink
More
All done
Please
Dog
Bird

She knows these body parts:
Eyes
Button (belly button)

And she can say
Mama
Uh-oh!
Whoa-whoa (which is what she calls our dog. It is like a woofing noise)

Lily is a joy to have. Did I mention she is busy busy busy? She really is! She will try to get anyone she can to walk around the house with her. She is almost never still. Again, I am hoping she becomes more serene as time goes on, and she realizes she can RELAX at home. Seriously, she does not relax. Even if I am holding her, her body is erect and her head is not resting on my chest. In her carseat, she sits with her head up as well - never does she rest it against the carseat (or me) unless she is passed out. I am not sure if she is just still excited and exploring her environment, or if she doesn't want to miss anything, or what. I am longing for the day I can curl up on the couch with her and do something like read a book or snuggle. She still does not know what to do with books. I have been trying to read her a couple of board books every night before sleeping to establish a nighttime routine and also help her with her vocabulary. Well, our sessions go something like this - I start the story, she closes the book. I start again, she flips to the next page. I continue, she starts crawling on the bed. I persevere, she grabs the book out of my hands and drops it and says, "Uh oh!" I know it will come.

And when we see her eyes light up when she sees each of us - it is a gift from the Lord.
I will post this letter on my blog, and for those who want to follow along our url is www.hisloveprevails.blogspot.com

Goodnight!

Love,
Chenning